A collection of 50 funny tweets posted by RoflIndian (yours truly) in Nov. & Dec 2010.
- #InSomalia They serve Kentucky Afraid Chicken.
- Jacques Kallis, Bappi Lahiri & Adnan Sami have been the greatest all rounders since the past 20 years. Adnan has lost his form of late.
- Shoppers Stop is a stop where top shoppers stop to shop.
- Girls gorging on junk food and cola would end up ruining their waste to heap ratios.
- The social ladder is a ladder one can climb without having to remove the stilettos
- As you sow, social you reap
- What do you call the Chief Statistician of the Family Planning Programme? Interpreter of Mala Ds
- Every time Wen Jiabaos, does Manmohan Singh have to bow too?
- What would you call a Japanese godman with magical powers? Bon-Sai Baba
- Avoid too much of junk food. Your stomach isn’t a place to stow-muck.
- Girls looking for jobs are candidates in the morning and candy dates in the evening
- The relationship between a cow, cow’s urine and a naturalist is explained by Pytha GORAS Theorem
- The best meat dish in China – Dragon Josh
- The only way Mark Zuckerberg can get seriously injured is if Rajinikanth pokes him on Facebook
- If Bobby Deol’s career doesn’t soar after Yamla Pagla Deewana, he can change his name to Lobby Deol and become a successful PR lobbyist
- In Bollywood, there are many ‘Couching’ Tigers and hidden dragons.
- How many corporate lobbyists does it take to change the light bulb? Actually none. They don’t want people to see the light!
- What do Garry Kasparov’s aides do when he faints upon losing to Anand? They carry gasp-arov.
- #WhyWomenFallForShane Because he turns it bothways and occasionally lets one slip through.
- Diggy Singh – “A woman chief minister called me up today and vehemently claimed that Sheila ki Jawani was based on her life!” #diggyleaks
- 800 new Radia tapes? How much Radia-activity did she spread?
- Who says women are discriminated against in work places. Don’t BPO jobs for women come with a lot of STALK options?
- What is Sensex? Putting an X sign on your SENSE.
- Would data about stools be called scatistics?
- Never judge a butterfly by its looks, a book by its covers and a girl by her T shirt message.
- The 2G spectrum begins with shades of gray and ends in pitch black.
- James Bond’s status message “The girls are lovely, dark and deep. But I have appointments to keep. And miles to fly before I sleep..”
- Among other news, Osama bin Laden, inspired by Harry Potter movies, insists on being called the HAIRY PLOTTER henceforth.
- I am convinced that Salman Khan’s blockbuster movie ‘The-Bongg’ is a timeless tribute to Bengalis…
- On a scale of 1 to Keshto Mukherjee, I never get drunk more than Dharmender level.
- Having seen Jab We Met three or four times, I’m now curious to see Jab We Mate
- NDTV’s status message: The Buck Stops Here. Arnab’s status message at Times Now: The Bakra Stops Here
- What do you call beautiful Hyderabadi girls? Charmi Naari?
- Pamela Anderson and Ashmit are easily mistaken for Pamela And-Her-Son.
- An iPill a day, keeps the gynec away! #modernproverbs
- A Raja was last seen drowning his sorrows in a bottle of spect rum.
- ‘Aap QATAR mey hain-’ loosely translates to ‘You are in KU-WAIT’
- What do you call a lump of despair wrapped in a crust of deception? Ferrero Rocher
- Scams come to light when shit hits the fan. There must be a mechanism to detect shit moving towards the fan.
- Girls with names like Preeti Hotchandani shouldn’t complain if guys call her Pretty Hot for short.
- In a world where everyone wants everything lengthened, URL shorteners come as a welcome change.
- People living in GLOSS houses shouldn’t throw STAINS on others
- “Whining isn’t everything…. It’s the only thing”.
- Traveling in a low cost airline feels exactly like traveling in AIR FARCE ONE.
- Kentucky Freud Chicken is nothing but Jung food!
- You become bisexual once you cross sixty, i.e., you say bye to sex.
- The worst moment for an atheist is when he is really thankful, and has nobody to thank!
- The fellow who laughs last may laugh the longest, but he definitely gets the reputation of being very dumb witted
- Doc to Margaret Mitchell – Do you still have stomach ache? Mitchell – Nah! Gone with the wind…
- Whereas a well endowed woman will cause a ‘Grand Maal’ seizure in a man, a slender lass will cause a ‘Petite Maal’ seizure!
