Bruce and his Beautiful Bruises

This was written quite some time back and posted elsewhere.  But Bruce Willis being my personal favourite, I dusted this review from the attic, got it refurbished according to exacting blogging standards and spruced it up with some pics sourced from the net.


Jostling in an unruly queue for 30 minutes and then being told that only a few seats ‘lower down’ were available, was something I had not experienced even during my heady college days. So when this awkard situation confronted me, I took it as an opportunity to add to my rather minuscule cine-going experience and grabbed whatever was on offer than retreat empty handed. It was a seat pretty close to the screen, and amongst an assorted crowd of hardened rowdies. Never mind, I told myself. The opening scene was already rolling when I ambled into the hall, and after trampling on quite a few unhappy feet, finally managed to land myself first on somebody’s lap, and then on a precious empty seat next to him. However, the guy whose lap I consecrated chose to overlook my indiscretion (probably I had not hurt his anything) and stayed glued to the screen, much to my relief. Bruce Willis had made his appearance by now and was already mouthing expletives merrily, when I was briefly distracted by an SMS from a fellow blogger from down South (who enquired how hot it was in Jaipur; to which I replied that yes, it was indeed smouldering!). During the next 2 hours or so, I got terribly busy repeatedly picking my jaw from the floor which kept dropping at fairly regular intervals. And when I was not doing that, I was having a hard time controlling my wayward eyeballs which kept popping out every now and then. I had a loud chuckle when one of the rustic rowdies behind me asked his neighbour “Arre iss heero ka naam kya hai?”, and pat came the reply “Burush Willy”. (He’ll surely have his willy brushed with the toughest of bristles if Bruce Willis gets to hear that!)


Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard 4)

Bruce Willis returns with a renewed twinkle in his eyes as Detective John McLane, a smartass cop who is just as deft with his ammo as he with his mouth, shooting wisecracks and profanities with equal gusto. A perfect antithesis to complex digitalisations in today’s world, Officer McLane is a nut when it comes to understanding how computerised gizmos work. He hasn’t changed much, still divorced, unable to get along with his near & dear ones (in this case, his daughter), nearly heartbroken, but more than willing all the while to whip the backsides of all those who try to cross paths with US Federal law. Of course there are a few subtle changes which only a diehard Bruce Willis fan would appreciate; his unmistakable, charming smirk which has become a little more pronounced, with a hint of Sly Stallone like crookedness at the corner of his lips, and, his willingness to wear a T shirt this time (as opposed to various states of undress Bruce used to be in earlier).


The Plot

John McLane (Bruce Willis), the quintessential  NYPD cop, is at a loss to make his daughter Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a thou-may-kiss-but-thou-shall-not-fondle-my-assets kind of lass, appreciate his fatherly concerns over dating strangers. After one such confrontation with his daughter, McLane gets a call from the FBI to apprehend and escort a hacker Matt Farrell (Justin Long) into FBI custody. As McLane is introduced to Farrell, the latter is attacked by a crack team of mercenaries sent by the baddie Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) who literally slice up his apartment within minutes. McLane somehow manages to rummage through the hell fire to save his terrified charge from being roasted live. Gabriel, driven insane by hatred towards the State, meanwhile initiates ‘Fire Sale’, a sequence of hacking programs aimed at maiming the nation’s infrastructure and economy, and it is upon McLane and Farrell to rescue the Motherland (and Lucy , whom Gabriel abducts), after liquidating Gabriel’s henchmen including his martial arts trained girlfriend Mai Lihn (Maggie Q). In the process, McLane and Farrell dodge countless bullets, and though their asses get toasted sweetly, the duo manage to cling to dear life in the midst of crumbling services like transportation, telephone network and power.  After a lavish helping of absolutely stunning, adrenaline laced, out of the world action sequences, which includes McLane ramming a police car into a hovering helicopter and somehow managing to steer a rig even as he is literally shredded to smithereens by an F 35 fighter jet, they manage to trace Gabriel’s whereabouts and proceed to confront him in a deadly climax…..



Bruce Willis – He redefines action with Die Hard 4. The 52 year old veteran literally blows you away, effortlessly jumping in and out of speeding cars, hanging precariously in mid air, beating the living daylights out of the rogues with his phenomenal 10 pound punch and mouthing the choicest of profanities, maintaining his good humour all the while.

Timothy Olyphant – Ever since the portrayal of Le Chiffre by Mads Mikkelson in Casino Royale, the trend it seems is to project baddies as suave, smooth talking and outwardly calm personalities who only throw things off their tables in fits of anger. Olyphant’s characterisation of Gabriel, an IT geek himself, is apt – smart computer professionals are not supposed to wear ringlets in ears and sport outrageous tattoes over their biceps.

Justin Long – Fits the bill perfectly as Farrell, a young hacker who unwittingly gets sucked into the drama, just because he unknowingly wrote a hacking sequence of the Fire Sale. The lad seems pretty obfuscated at first, getting to act beside the legendary Willis, but as the movie gets along, makes an impression of his own.

Maggie Q – Mai Lihn. Boy, she is hot. Particularly when she kicks Willis all over the place, you can’t take your eyes off her razor sculpted figure. This is without any skin show, mind you, for the total surface area of her exposed parts would be less than what is usually hidden by Mallika and Udita!

Mary Elizabeth Winstead – As Lucy Mclane, has nothing much to do except hiss occasionally at Gabriel and remind herself every now and again that though Bruce as a father is intolerable, it is he and only he who would finally extricate her from the clutches of her captor.


It was funny to watch

The whole of US of A plunged into darkness in an age where they are talking of setting up malls on Mars. Guess why no one sells APC inverters there???

An F35 jet having a tough time targeting a mammoth rig. It’s missiles hit everything except the rig. Wonder how such nincompoops dominated in Iraq and Serbia???

How swiftly the hackers typed out complex sequences in no time. It that really how nerds usually work? Typing speed – 3,86,000 cps, no typo errors. Remarkable.

Officials from the White House kickbutted by the FBI. Is it a regular phenomenon?

Value adds – Trailer of Sivaji – the Boss. Aah…how I long to see Rajnikanth in Die Hard 5.

Verdict – Looking at what you are supposed to expect from a Die Hard movie, this has all the essentials. John McLane pummels a bunch of armed-to-the-teeth baddies. Able sidekick who adds comic relief and keeps you absorbed.  An insane rogue who pushes McLane to his limits.  Bruce Willis battered, bruised and soaked in blood by the end. Eye popping action sequences with a nail biting finish. If you’re a fan of Bruce and DH, this movie will just blow you away.


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9 Comments on this article. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Tarun Goel August 7, 2009 at 8:33 am -

    Haven’t seen this movie, but this was such a nice review that I would like to watch.
    These conversational pictures are too good, especially the 3rd one 😀

    RI: Thanks! And do watch it. Willis wont let you down 😉

  2. Vidooshak August 7, 2009 at 10:24 am -

    Agree with Tarun. Me gave the movie as miss as well. Wasn’t enthused about watching these delayed sequels like Indiana Jones Skull, Terminator 3, 4, 5, 6 (what are they on, now?) and Die Hard. Thought it might be like watching “Return of Jewel Thief”. But this review packed a punch. Sad that can’t watch it in theatre anymore…
    Although you have raised the er… expectations.. I will try to catch a peek… on DVD.

    RI: What you say makes perfect sense, but I personally feel that Bruce Willis movies are a genre apart from Indiana Jones and Pirates, which tend to border more on the fantastic/incredible. DH is a pure action flick, and anyone who’s a sucker for adrenal pumping action would really not miss this one. Catch it on DVD if ye can 🙂

  3. Witsnnuts August 7, 2009 at 11:20 pm -

    Its one of my favourite films .. have seen it 7 to 8 times and i agree with you on the smirk being charming .. i guess his wrinkles do the trick now .
    Is that pic ( car – chopper crash ), from the subway scene ??

    RI: Yeah…the same one.

  4. Spike August 7, 2009 at 11:24 pm -

    Hey FE (Sinceit was on that other site)
    I watched it and was not impressed. The ‘laughs’ that u mention were too much of an irritant for me. It was flawed for me the moment Willis jumps out of the running cab and dashed into a parked truck in the beginning. That sequence should have either broken most of his bones or should have rendered him useless for the rest of the movie! Perhaps thats too logical, but my take is “atleast make the crap a little believable” – I know its a movie, but still.

  5. Amit August 7, 2009 at 11:59 pm -

    This was definitely the bessssssssst Die Hard movie. Nail biting. I loved it!

    RI: No doubt!

  6. Abha August 20, 2009 at 7:17 pm -

    me loved it! the review and the movie! lest you think Vidooshak hasnt watched it, whom did Abha watch it with, this was when i was like 8 months preggers! so i was in Bombay and watched it with my dad! had awesome fun and enjoyed every thrill!


    • Rofl Indian August 21, 2009 at 12:59 am -

      Gosh! Didn’t you ever think what effect Bruce’s profanities (there were plenty, and of the choicest variety) would have on Cubby’s innocent psyche?? 😀

  7. indiblogger August 22, 2009 at 12:10 am -

    LOL!!! This is the funniest post I’ve found on IndiVine so far. 🙂

    (And yes, Maggie Q was one of the perks of watching this movie!)

    RI: Thanks. The compliment means a lot to me 🙂