Can Chuck Norris Reverse Recession?

‘Chuck Norris’ does seem to be a delightful theme to expound upon at length. More so, as there seems to be a general consensus among the readers as regards the abilities of the phenomenon in question. So, here are a few more of Chuck Norris Facts. I assure you that they are fresh from the oven and not pilfered from stacks of used Norribilia strewn around. And for those who would like to learn how and why the financial recession happened, here is a novel interpretation.

Now pay attention.

  • Chuck Norris never screws a lightbulb. The poor thing gets screwed on its own at the very thought of Chuck Norris.
  • During summers, Chuck Norris often dehydrates the Sun. Ray Ban sunglasses were invented just to protect the Sun from Chuck Norris’ glare.
  • Chuck Norris does suffer from a bit of intestinal gas. Or else, how would you explain the hurricanes that hit North America every now and then?
  • Chuck Norris loves to play chess with supercomputers on a chessboard with all black squares. Most supercomputers lose by the second move.
  • You must remember the name of Chuck Norris’ girlfriend. Its Chick Norris.
  • George Bush could never have dodged the shoe had Chuck Norris not wanted him to.
  • A 1000 megaton thermonuclear bomb quietly defuses by itself when it sees Chuck Norris approaching.
  • CIA used to be ‘Central Idiotic Agency’ until Chuck Norris taught them all about intelligence.
  • Chuck Norris’ favourite T shirt message is ‘Norris, No Gain’.
  • There is no such thing called stealth technology. All the B-2 Spirits and the F-22 Raptors have Chuck Norris’ name painted on them.
  • What does M.I.T. stand for? Its Massachusetts Institute of Chucknology.
  • Which came first..the chicken or the egg? Now, that’s a preposterous question! Obviously none. Chuck Norris came first.
  • Chuck Norris can sign his name on ice with his pee. That too with both his hands tied behind his back!
  • Only Chuck Norris can enjoy a Chuck Norris movie. All others just gape in utter reverence.
  • Chuck Norris walks his dog to the top of Mount Everest every morning. He usually comes again alone in the night to ski.
  • ICICI Bank offers Chuck Norris unlimited term-free home loans at 0% interest.
  • James Bond boasted of his No. 7 license until Chuck Norris put a couple of zeroes before him to show him his fitting place.
  • Which island did Chuck Norris create with his shit? Norritius.
  • On the offside, first there is Chuck Norris, and then there is God. There ain’t no Sourav Ganguly anywhere.
  • The bulls in Chuck Norris’ cattle ranch happily give milk whenever Chuck Norris approaches them with a pail.
  • Baby Chuck Norris wouldn’t have anything but whole pineapples and jackfruits in his custard pie.
  • In E=MC2, C is Chuck Norris Constant.
  • Do you know whats Chuck Norris’ favourite game? Its Chinese Chuckers.
  • And finally, Chuck Norris can reverse recession with just one swipe of his credit card down his butt. Just that no one has asked him till now!


chuck-norris-split-rock

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23 Comments on this article. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. ~uh~™ April 27, 2009 at 11:37 am -

    My two coins:

    Confronting Chuck Norris, the villain thinks he is f*cked. Actually, it is worse, he is Chu*ked !

    Chuck Norris meets a Punjabi girl. The phrase Chuck de Phatte is born, instantly.

    Cheers!
    ~uh~

    • Rofl Indian April 27, 2009 at 1:02 pm -

      Seriously, NO ONE is allowed to ‘CHUCKLE’ at such jokes!

  2. Dinesh Babu April 27, 2009 at 9:20 pm -

    Ha ha … Chuck Norris can be so fun that when Chuck Norris watches a serious movie, it will become funny! Nice list. Loved the picture!

    • Rofl Indian April 28, 2009 at 10:17 am -

      Lol! Wouldn’t it be sacrilege if we say Chuck Norris watched a movie. Its the movie which is supposed to watch Chuck Norris 😀

  3. couchpapaya April 27, 2009 at 10:39 pm -

    yaay!! my fav internet meme…. and uh, ur brilliant as always!! rofl, couldnt help the ‘chuckle’ sorry!!!

    u wont believe how many ppl land on my site with the search terms ‘CN divide by 0’ or even ‘what is CN doing now?’

    prepare to be swamped 😀

  4. Rofl Indian April 28, 2009 at 10:19 am -

    Good Idea! What about launching a fake Chuck Norris blog, of course risking his roundhouse kicks to our https 😀

  5. Vidooshak April 28, 2009 at 3:34 pm -

    Chuck Norris revealed. The doc is Chuck Norris. Jai Ho

    • Rofl Indian April 30, 2009 at 12:29 am -

      I do not want myself roundhouse kicked ! 😀

  6. Reva April 30, 2009 at 9:55 pm -

    hahahaha!!!! Why is Chuck Norris’s fav soup? Knorr Soup Beacuse it’s sounds like Chuck Norri’s’s last name 😀 PJ!

    • Rofl Indian April 30, 2009 at 11:26 pm -

      Hahaha. Good one. Which astrologer/futurologist predicted that all important statesmen of the world shall be roundhouse kicked at least once in their lives? Norristradamus! 😀

  7. rahul May 11, 2009 at 2:57 pm -

    Please ask Chuck to exercise the last statement..and as a gesture give Rofl his credit card after wiping 😛

    • Rofl Indian May 12, 2009 at 8:27 pm -

      Lol! That’ll be one huge collector’s item! 😉

  8. nursemyra May 26, 2009 at 1:31 pm -

    love the split rock image. very appropriate

    • Rofl Indian May 27, 2009 at 4:20 pm -

      Split wide open, yeah. Welcome Nursemyra

  9. Simply Ridiculous June 3, 2009 at 6:51 pm -

    Haha.. This is really funny 🙂

    • Rofl Indian June 4, 2009 at 12:36 pm -

      Thanks Jigar. Welcome to my blog.

  10. fishie March 14, 2010 at 2:40 am -

    hahahahaha those are pretty hilarious jokes!!!

    RI: Thanks 🙂

    • paige .k. May 18, 2010 at 3:04 am -

      Hey fishie whats up? u know me. these guys jokes r awsome right?

  11. Josh Schutte May 15, 2010 at 12:12 pm -

    that is split apple rock in nelson, yeah, new zealand for the win!!!

  12. paige .k. May 18, 2010 at 2:50 am -

    Whats up peps? I love these jokes iv never herd of them but halarious! Nice jokes man.(;

  13. paige .k. May 18, 2010 at 3:00 am -

    Hey i got a nice one. Chuck Norris inventied the color black, infact he also invented the entire specticals of color, ecsept for pink.Tom Cruse inventid pink.LOL Later.(:

  14. Namz June 16, 2010 at 1:47 pm -

    I need to get me one of them ‘Norris, No Gain’ t-shirts…original and good stuff, mate

    • Rofl Indian June 20, 2010 at 9:04 pm -

      Thanks…welcome namz