Kambakkht Ishq – The Prologue

Susie had been hovering around me for the past few minutes doing all sorts of unnecessary things. Surely she had something in her mind.  She had dusted the books on the table five times and washed the same tea cups thrice in the last ten minutes. When she looked like approaching the wash basin again, I could take it no longer.

“Yes Soosie? Is there something that you wished to ask me?”

“N…no saar…”

“Any doubt….come out!” I quipped, trying hard to avert my gaze as Susie stood on her toes and stretched herself in the most seductive manner to replace the cups on the topmost shelf of the cupboard. It was 2.30 in the afternoon and we were nearly through with the day’s OPD.

“Saar…I mean…can I yask something?”

“Hmm…hmm. Yes. Go ahead….”

“Saar, are you going to see a fillum today?”

“Who told you so?” I sat up bolt upright.  

“No saar. I overheard you and Phadnis saar…..” Susie flashed her 32. (Thirty two teeth, I mean. Moreover, that isn’t 32, that’s probably 34 or 36. Whatever.)

“Uh…yes, Faddu and I are going to see Kambakkht Ishq today. So?” I deliberately hid the fact from her that we had roped in Dimpy Minochha as well, and that the tickets had already been booked on phone. Faddu and I had planned to make the most of the afternoon by having Dimpy Minochha sit between the two of us in the cinema hall. We were banking on the assumption that Dimpy would fall asleep sometime in the second half and eventually roll over to one side, resting her head on one of the two gallant shoulders. I knew Faddu badly wanted to win, though I too was not exactly averse to the idea of shouldering Miss Dimpy’s little siesta.

“Saar…” My reverie was broken as Susie dropped all pretense and came straight to the point, “can I also go saar? I promise I will sit quietly next to Dimple docsaab. ”

WHAT? She knew about Dimpy too?! I suddenly felt like a fly which had fallen into a bowl of sweet corn soup. Plenty of sweet and cow1corn, but still a soup nevertheless. I brushed aside an unpleasant image of Dimpy’s head resting on Susie’s shoulders and Faddu’s oily head dumped on mine. Susie was eyeing me expectantly with the gaze of a benevolent cow (there, in the pic) that had just been shown a sackful of delicious fodder. There was no choice but to relent.

“Hrrrmph!” I grunted, and reached for the phone. “Let me see if we still have any tickets left!”

Nothing much happened between then and 3.30 pm when the four of us reached Fun Cinema for the afternoon screening of Kambakkht Ishq. Faddu had grumbled quite a lot on hearing about Susie’s inclusion in the party. Dimpy seemed exceedingly pleased. I struck her name off the samosa list for her misdemeanour.

And Susie exclaimed once, “Saar…I am watching the maternity show after a really long time…” Poor confused girl. Didn’t know the difference between matinee and maternity.

To be continued.

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14 Comments on this article. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Ann Dee July 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm -

    Neat-wit. Distinctively Bong’esque.
    Great imagery. You write very well Doc (you’re a Doc right?).

    Rofl Indian: Thanks Ann Dee 🙂 Er..yes…I’m accused of being a doc 😛

  2. whatsinaname July 6, 2009 at 3:47 pm -

    Actually this quadrangled story seems more interesting than the movie itself.
    So, I am curious to know what is finally delivered at the end of the maternity?

    Rofl Indian: ROFL! I dunno…honestly. It’s quite dark inside the cinema hall 😛 Will have to wait until the lights come on!

  3. farkandfunk July 6, 2009 at 3:57 pm -

    he hehehehehe
    Which is it? 34 or 36? Don’t tell me suzie used some of that Japani Oil?! 🙂
    A sub-plot within a plot, and possible girl-on-girl action. You have us gripped!!

    Rofl Indian: Come on Fark…how’d I know if it’s 34 or 36?! I’ll have to ask the tailor! 😛 Susie did eye the bottle with interest when I was writing the article on that oil. I told her that it was rat poison. 😀

  4. Ms Taggart July 6, 2009 at 5:02 pm -

    Oh man! U truly live up to your blog’s name! 🙂
    Agreed Susie is dumb, but why should you guys grumble at getting both of them in one shot! Wasnt it a bonus if u planned the seating properly? 🙂

    Rofl Indian: Thanks Ms Taggart 🙂
    Good point there. I guess, we men act dumber sometimes 😉 I’ll pay more attention to seating arrangements henceforth 🙂

  5. le embrouille blogueur July 6, 2009 at 7:37 pm -

    Joosy story about Sussie …. lol !!

    RI: Hahahaha…well said!

  6. perplexed611 July 6, 2009 at 9:16 pm -

    hehehe! I would rather watch the movie involving the 4 of you!! 😛 sounds so much more interesting 😀 but WHY?and what on earth makes people watch akshay kumar and his extremely non-funny perverted jokes?? ah well…. wasting money on weekend tickets to a movie like that is sad stuff!

    Rofl Indian: Gosh! But we are no professional actors! Would you buy tickets to watch our theatrics? 😀 And as to why people watch Akshay and his sick sense of humour, I am as perplexed as you are 😛 Welcome to my blog 🙂

  7. couchpapaya July 6, 2009 at 11:02 pm -

    lol very interesting cant wait for the next part!! and samosa list? did i miss this somewhere?

    Rofl Indian: The samosa list refers to the list of candidates who are entitled to get a pair of samosas at interval. I struck Dimpy’s name off that. Meri marzi! 😛

  8. maxdavinci July 7, 2009 at 1:49 am -

    flashing the 32, was neat!

    waitin for part 2

    Rofl Indian: Welcome MDV, it’s an honour to have you here 🙂 When it comes to flounting their 32s, men are distinctly at a disadvantage…..after all, they have just one 32 to flash 😉

  9. ~uh~™ July 7, 2009 at 1:36 pm -

    “Any doubt….come out!”
    You actually uttered those provocative, sexist, dominating, instructive, sadomasochistic scandalous words to poor Soossie ?
    She is successful in her seduction for sure.

    I always wondered why the Bus numbers in Kolkata goes like- 34B, 32C, 30D/1 etc till such time I saw a picture of Pamela Anderson. 234B was no more a mystery !

    “She had dusted the boo*s on the table five times and washed the same *** cups thrice in the last ten minutes”- Good lord !
    Is anything left for imagination in the dark theatre ?
    Eager for the Cam backed Risque !

    RI: Thats a great observtion on the minibus numbers. An eye opener in fact. And regarding your veiled insinuations on the matter of the dark theatre and the happenings therein, I’d only say that a book in hand is worth two on the screen.

  10. Spike July 7, 2009 at 9:24 pm -

    too good doc! “hidden” talent i must say 😀
    did u notice that the symbol for flashing the toothy smiley with 32 teeth is a ‘:’ and a ‘D’

    RI: Thanks Spike. And yes, I never paid any attention to the : & D symbols until you pointed them out. Seems D demands more attention from now on 😉

  11. Shanu July 8, 2009 at 12:20 am -

    ***I brushed aside an unpleasant image of Dimpy’s head resting on Susie’s shoulders and Faddu’s oily head dumped on mine. ***

    Lol..wat an imagination!

    RI: Thanks. Keep visiting 🙂

  12. Amit July 8, 2009 at 3:15 am -

    //maternity show!! ROLF! I hope she enjoyed the movie!

    RI: Enjoyment has a variety of dimensions. Yes, she did enjoy 😉

  13. witsnnuts July 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm -

    ROFL @ maternity show 😀
    I’m off to read the “Pain begins” part.

    RI: Thanks 🙂