Con-TAG-ious Awards

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I was recently tagged by LEB, alongwith the following prolific bloggers-

To say that I feel honoured is an understatement. So, without much ado, I begin answering the tag questions in earnest. This happens to be the first tag that I’m doing, and I hope to be excused for inadequacies on my part. I wrote the answers at around 10.00 pm yesterday, so I’d like you to keep the time frame in reference.

1. What is your current obsession?

There are two concurrent, albeit somewhat non-current obsessions to be precise. One is to figure out how to discourage pigeons from laying eggs in my balcony, and the other is to find out a workable way to thwart eager male doggies from using my car’s rear tyres for fire fighting practice.

2. What are you wearing today?

Today? Tonight? At this hour? An ash-grey pajama and a black T shirt smelling of naphthalene, and of course assorted innerwear, the sensitive details of which really need not be divulged in this august forum.

3. What’s for dinner?

Some wholesome stuff cooked in a vigorously healthy way. The best of bland n’ boiled. (Atonement for the uninhibited gluttony during the Durga Puja festivities).

4. What’s the last thing you bought?

Precious ‘time’ …to complete this tag.

5. What are you listening to right now?

My soul. Tags, strangely, make me introspective. And also to my own croaking cough that I developed a couple of days back from ogling at a few ice maidens at a Pujo pandal. 

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

I do not wish to get ‘embroiled’ in such needless debates.

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

Right here. Yes, of course I’d like to have another totally paid for, fully furnished penthouse on some exotic island in the Pacific, situated right between the penthouses of Megan Fox and Scarlett Johannson….

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

Odomos (to counter the dire threat of mosquito squads), a haath-pakha (hand held bamboo fan), and a fairly large container of Nycil. 

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

Fort Knox. That’s probably one place in the world which is out of bounds even for the mistress of the President of the United States.

10. Which language do you want to learn?

Mandarin. To be able to call the Chinese all sorts of names standing safely on this side of the border.

11. What’s your favourite quote?

“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” Old Groucho of course. Who else had that devastating wit.

12. Who do you want to meet right now?

You. And I am not kidding.

13. What is your favourite colour?

Blood Red. The colour of life and lifelessness.

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?

The handkerchief. It takes all your filth on itself, and transfers the cologne to you without so much of a fuss.

15. What is your dream job?

A cosmetic surgeon in Hollywood. If that isn’t possible, I’d settle for the job of Ambani’s personal physician. 

16. What’s your favourite magazine?

Reader’s Digest. Though I have not yet been able to comprehend what do readers digest and what really is left after the efforts of digestion, or even, what the byproducts are of accidental indigestion?

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

A book written by some female author and titled ‘How to Spend Money Wisely’.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

Lungi and shoes, noodle straps and saree, wearing a striped underwear to the swimming pool. 

19. – Question Deleted-

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?

Not my choice. The terms are wholly dictated by my barber.

21. What are you going to do after this?

Heave a huge sigh of relief.

22. What are your favourite movies?

Action thrillers – those with abundant punches and punchlines.

24. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can’t live without?

Cosmetic – Does Old Spice Shaving cream qualify as a cosmetic?

Make up – Cherry Blossom Shoe Polish. The best make up for my shoes.

Perfume – Lavender air freshener in the toilet.

23. What inspires you?

Hospital fumes in the day, diesel exhausts while travelling and a bit of fresh air at home.

24. Give us three styling tips that always work for you.

1. If my shoes look a bit dusty before an important meting, I rub them on the backside of my trousers, and then dust the trousers off with my colleague’s hanky (borrowed on some flimsy pretext).

2. If I am anticipating trouble at a meeting I make a style statement by rolling my shirt sleeves up. I really works.

3. Before making an important point at a board meeting, I take my glasses off, wipe them over the arm, and then proceed to wear them with a spectacular flip in Rajnikanth’s style. My adversaries are usually rendered speechless.

25. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?

I wrap a towel and ponder over the situation for a while. On a couple of forgettable occasions, I forgot to wrap the towel.

26. Coffee or tea?

It’s the same pot anyway.

27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?

Nothing. I just sit there with a poker face until the depression withers off.

28. What is the meaning of your name?

ROFL means Rolling On Floor Laughing. It’s an abbreviation of ROTFLMAO, which expands as Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Donkey Off. Indian is someone who was born in India.

29. Which other blogs do you love visiting?

All blogs which profess their love for humour.

30. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?

Bikaneri Rasogolla made out of camel’s milk (that’s the best of desert and sweet put together)

31. Favorite Season?

Summer of course. All deals work out nicely. The shadier the better.

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?

That’s not the question. If I cook something for you, would you be really interested in eating it?

33. My question: What’s the worst thing to eat in the world?

Having to eat your own words!

Rules for those who are tagged: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

Two bloggers I know would do ample justice to these questions. I’m tagging them. Hope they’ll respond.

About the Author

8 Comments on this article. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. le embrouille blogueur October 5, 2009 at 10:22 pm -

    Oh … the bliss of Haath Paakha ..sweet memories …. laughed out loud …congrats!!

    RI: Thanks 🙂

  2. Ranju October 7, 2009 at 7:43 am -

    loved No.17 !! heehee…

    RI: Thanks. I think you concur with the soul of the statement 🙂 Welcome Ranju

  3. ~uh~™ October 7, 2009 at 10:47 am -

    Is deleting Questions allowed ?

    RI: Yes. That’s what the rules say!

  4. Whatsinaname October 8, 2009 at 12:19 pm -

    Waiting for that 25 secret tag of UH 😉

    RI: Me too

  5. Karishma October 18, 2009 at 12:36 pm -

    haha Loved all the answers.
    Loved how you pretended like you were being tortured to fill this out when clearly you were loving every bit of it 😛
    #24 is the funnist
    and Im very curious to know what the deletd question was 😛

    • Rofl Indian November 2, 2009 at 10:51 am -

      I’ve forgotten it. Too bad! 🙁

  6. Karishma October 18, 2009 at 12:41 pm -

    * funniest
    Oh and do u mind if I tag myself 😛

    • Rofl Indian November 2, 2009 at 10:51 am -

      Karishma
      You are soon going to be ‘attaged’ with a tag. Beware 🙂